What’s Missing?

 imagesCAVCN3VRWhat’s Missing?

In this post I decided to write about learning how to live all the great spiritual ideas I have been discussing in this blog.  For a lot of people when you have a relationship issue or a work related issue, spirituality sort of goes out the window.  In challenging times when these principles could serve us the most, we revert back to programming or conditioning.  We become afraid, angry, hurt, sad.  I’ve been there. I get it.

An example from work:  I’m a sales person, I have goals I must meet.  I believe in the product I’m selling, I like the people in my company.   (If this is you and you don’t believe in your product or service or you don’t like others in your company, it’s time to move on.)  My sales aren’t as good as I would like.  I talk to people but somehow it just doesn’t feel right – the whole process feels contrived, hurried – something is missing.

If you can relate to this or a similar situation, consider this.  What’s most likely missing is you.  The real, authentic, unique you.  Sales is about relationship building.  It just isn’t possible for you to build a relationship with another human being if you aren’t there. People respond to sincerity, authenticity, a joyful heart – a guy or gal who really likes what they are doing and who really knows themselves and likes themselves.

My personal view of sales is that it isn’t sales.  I really don’t like that word.  Its more how can we help each other.  Do I have a product or service that can help you fill a need or not?  If so, great.  You get help and I get a sale.  If not, great.  I’ll call on you again next year.  The thing is I can’t possibly know whether my product or service can fill any need you may have unless I know you and what’s going on with you – relationship.

I am opposed to any sales where the goal is to create a need in the customer – I think that is just plain wrong.  It also does not contribute to long term success.  Sooner or later my customer is going to figure out they did not buy what they thought they were buying.  And, from the perspective of the sales person,  it’s not good for the soul.

An example from a personal relationship:  I have a person in my life who I enjoy being with – a friend, business associate, partner, child, parent.  At times I feel taken advantage of, let down, hurt, walked on.  There is an old adage – whatever person A thinks of person B, person B also thinks of person A.  So, if I feel taken advantage of, so does the other.  Never forget that – this is a two way street, not a one way street.

If you relate to this, again, the basic issue is most likely you are not being you. You’re trying due to feelings of inadequacy.  Or, you may be looking to the other to live your life in some way – and, that may be reciprocated by the other. I know a couple where neither one wants to be responsible for living their own life.  They keep trying to make the other responsible for everything.  Nobody wants the ball.

As I stated earlier, it just isn’t possible for you to build a relationship with another human being if you aren’t there. The real, authentic, unique, beautiful, joyful you.

The really wild thing is this all takes a lot – a whole lot – of courage.  This relationship stuff is not for the fearful or the weak.  It takes courage to be who you are. So how do you find all this courage to be you?  I’ll end with a quote from Rumi which may help you on your journey.

“Little by little, wean yourself. This is the gist of what I have to say. From an embryo whose nourishment comes in the blood, move to an infant drinking milk, to a child on solid food, to a searcher after wisdom, to a hunter of invisible game.”

This entry was posted in Psychology, Relationships, Spirituality, You and tagged , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

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