I saw a sign in a furniture store in our small country town several years back that has stayed with me. It said: “People may believe what you say, but they will believe what you do.” Great wisdom. My Daddy used to say, “talk is cheap.” Sort of the same idea.
How many times in any day do we say one thing and do another? Or, someone else says one thing to us and does another.
“I love you.” Really. You say you love me, I hear that. What are you doing? Let me think – you are mostly always late when we have arranged a time to be together. You talk and talk and talk about yourself and will finally – sometimes – ask how I’m doing and then not really listen. You speak badly about me when I’m not around. You’re gone – a lot. You criticize me. You belittle me. You make fun of me. If you are having a bad day, your anger is directed at me for no reason. You don’t do small, thoughtful things for me. You pretty much want us to live your life. I could go on – I’m sure you can think of several examples from your own relationships. Do you want to sometimes stand up and scream, “this is a relationship, there are two of us here, not just you?” Remember the Tina Turner song, “What’s Love Got To Do With It?” Ike said he loved her, problem was he beat her up – a lot.
Are the actions of the people who are close to you consistent with their words? If not, you might want to consider finding your courage and talking with them about expectations and inconsistencies. And, conversely, do your words match your actions?
Life is so very simple – know who you are – know and do what you want – speak your truth. Know that you deserve the same from the people around you.
Sometimes it’s good to stop listening to the words – your words and the words of the other – and begin honestly looking at what you and they are doing. Consider giving it a try – hard to say where it might take you.