“In most of our human relationships, we spend much of our time reassuring one another that our costumes of identity are on straight.” — Ram Dass
So, in relationship we mutually assure each other that the costumes we are wearing look great. Sort of like – hey – that is a great outfit or pair of shoes. You look really cool! Nice hair. Love the color of your nail polish. Hey, Man, nice watch. You get the picture. These examples are one kind of costume we wear.
I believe Ram Dass is describing a completely different kind of costume. He is talking about “costumes of identity.” We all construct our world – every small and large part of it. First, we construct ourselves. We choose a costume. In astrology your costume is somewhat associated with your rising sign – sometimes defined as the mask you wear for the world. It’s not who you really are inside. It’s the optimal mask you have chosen to wear – your costume.
Nothing wrong with wearing a mask for the world or even in a relationship. Nothing wrong with assuring each other that our “costumes of identity are on straight.”
The hole in the road here is when you confuse who you really are inside with the mask – the costume. And, when those close to you overly identity with the “you” who is the mask, rather than the real you. Think of it as an actor or actress on the stage. You play a great role. However, when the show is over, it’s time to take off the costume and become the real authentic you.
Relationship is between two real people – not two masks – not two costumes.
Stop a minute and think about whether you are always “on” or whether you have people, places, moments in your life where you can take off the mask and be the beautiful, unique, authentic you.