“Sometimes life knocks you on your ass . . . get up, get up, get up!!! Happiness is not the absence of problems, it’s the ability to deal with them.” – Steve Maraboli, Life, the Truth, and Being Free
Great wisdom in this Steve Maraboli quote. We all have problems. We make mistakes. Others treat us badly. Our hearts get broken. We promise things and then wish we hadn’t. We screw up. So what?
We often beat ourselves up over mistakes we’ve made – for years! Or, we have difficulty finding forgiveness for others – or, even forgetfulness. We carry all that stuff around with us. It can make just being alive feel like some sort of huge burden. Next comes escape – in drugs, alcohol, sex, religion, TV, you can add your favorite.
Or, we can cultivate the “ability to deal with” our problems. Learning to deal with problems has three steps – it’s really pretty easy. I does take courage.
First, you have to acknowledge the issue. You screwed up! OK, you see it – great. Or, someone you love is treating you poorly – no denial – see the situation for what it is. I’m sure you can add your own life experiences to the list. The point is – first, you have to see the problem.
Next, forgive yourself or the other. We are all one – all human beings – nobody perfect. We have such unrealistically high standards. Remember, forgiveness is for you, not the other. It frees you.
Finally, where do you go from here? Do you feel you want to apologize or take some sort of action? Or, is forgiving yourself for your actions enough? Time to move on. If your problem was created by the other, will you stay or leave? Will you renegotiate your relationship? What needs to be done? Then, move on.
If, somewhere in all this process, you get to “the principal of the matter,” you are way, way off base. A red flag. Time to find your courage and get back to dealing with the matter.
Happiness is worth it!