“If you judge people, you have no time to love them.” – Mother Teresa
It’s so easy for all of us to judge the other. It’s almost an automatic thing for some of us. We don’t even call it judging. We call it noticing. We usually don’t like calling it criticism. Or, sometimes we say we love someone so much we have to help them. Maybe they just can’t see what we can see? We parents can fall into this one pretty easily.
How about the other side. We feel judged or criticized. This can hit below the belt of our self esteem or self worth. We may easily blow it all out of proportion – building the smallest comment or well intended advice into a major occurrence.
If, however, we have healthy self acceptance, self esteem, self worth, we tend to keep it all in perspective. The situation doesn’t really require us to defend ourselves because our self acceptance doesn’t hinge on the other’s approval. And, to the extent we approve of ourselves, we tend not to judge others. No matter which side of this you happen to be standing on – the cure is the same. Healthy self love.
So, take time out to love you. Once you honestly love all the parts of you – the ones you label good and the ones you label bad – self judgment disappears. When self judgment disappears, judging others also vanishes. Then you have lots of “time to love them.”