“Be present as the watcher of your mind – of your thoughts and emotions as well as your reactions in various situations. Be at least as interested in your reactions as in the situation or person that causes you to react. Notice also how often your attention is in the past or future. Don’t judge or analyze what you observe. Watch the thought, feel the emotion, observe the reaction. Don’t make a personal problem out of them. You will then feel something more powerful than any of those things that you observe: the still, observing presence itself behind the content of your mind, the silent watcher.” – Eckhart Tolle
We all love to judge and analyze the other, especially if we feel they have wronged us in some way or are about to make some huge mistake. We forget our way is just that – ours.
I realized a few years ago my advice sometimes hurt those I loved the most. It was a big wake up call for me. My intentions were the best. Didn’t matter. What I was actually doing was telling them how I would handle their situation. My ego was having a ball! Problem is my solution didn’t work for them. I’ve learned to stay grounded in who I am, send the other love and do my very, very best not to express my opinion. Better to help them by asking questions so they can reach their own conclusion.
When someone is coming at me. I feel pain, hurt, anger or frustration. I react. I love Tolle’s advice: “don’t make a personal problem” out of it all. When I can stay in that place, I have more clarity and can see what’s really going on inside me. The whole exchange gets turned upside down. I can see the other and me. What’s my lesson? Why did this person get to me? When I’m in this place, I’m the silent watcher.